7/30/06

10:00 AM
I had an epiphany of sorts on the way to the hardware store not ten minutes ago. It seems pretty obvious to me now, but then again, I'd never really thought of it before. I thinks it's possible for good people to do bad things, but impossible for bad people to do good things. It was just a thought that flashed into my head while I was driving along. Weird, huh? I know I'm going to get some debate on this from some quarters, but that's OK!

6:30 PM
I DESPISE hot weather! I was on the phone talking to my mom about 3ish, and my thermometer said 103 frackking degrees. 103!!!! WTF? That is just WAY too hot for my tastes. It's impossible to do anything outside at all. When I walk out of the house, it's like walking into an oven. A little Shake'n'Bake and I could cook a pork chop or piece of chicken on the sidewalk, or the hood of my car. And it's supposed to be even hotter tomorrow. Luckily I work in a "climate-controlled" building. JEES!!!

An Uneventful Day

Yesterday was a pretty uneventful day. I did some work for Ruth on her blog, and my mom got me a couple of kitchen chairs at a garage sale. She just loves those sales, and she drags my dad along and just embarrasses the hell out of him by finagling people down on their prices. I think it's funny, but it's also why I don't go to garage sales with her. I feel his pain.

I also copied a VHS tape to DVD for Lori. Actually two, one for Jen, her niece, too. It's some exercise thing. The tape was so worn out, and she didn't want to try and find it again. We talked while I was doing that, and are getting to the root of a lot of matters. I'm hesitant to really discuss them here, because she doesn't really think that our conversations should be for public discussion, and after the events of the last 2 weeks, I tend to agree. Let's just say that the people that need to know, know, and the ones that don't need to know, don't. It's as simple as that. There are a few that I'm keeping out of the loop, and that's the way it's going to have to be.

I have to fix the garage door and do some painting today. I broke the door last night, and need to pick up some repair parts before I can fix it. I need to do it this morning while it's cooler out. I'm also painting the chairs mom got me red, to match my kitchen table. I'll go visit the folks after that and try to stay cool. It's supposed to be freaking hot again today. Did I mention I HATE hot weather? And please, no comments from the Texas contingent! HA!!!

That's it for now. Hope all of you are having a good weekend and staying cool, wherever you are.

A birthday greeting!

Lordy, lordy, Lori's 40...something! If I tell you I won't be able to type for a week. Or maybe something far worse!! I'M KIDDING!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY!!

LOVE YA!!

A new champion??

I saw this today and just had to make at least some comment on this. Say it ain't so, Floyd!!

http://www.usatoday.com/sports/cycling/2006-07-27-landis-drug-test_x.htm

Work sucks because....

Normally, I enjoy my job. It's challenging enough to keep me interested, and physical enough that I don't turn into a fat blob. Needless to say I don't have a desk job, not that desk jobs aren't important, too. But today was one of those days when I just wanted to say fuck it and walk out the door.

I work with a guy who's been doing this a little longer than I have. Don't get me wrong I like the guy, but I would like him better if he didn't work with me. He does as little as he can get away with, which is very little, considering he's a little brown-nosing weasel with the boss.

Well today, we were both busy, him and a helper doing one thing, and me another. Anyway we both got our stuff done and waiting for the next round(it always comes in rounds). We were all washing up and he looks at me and says, "So, are you going to do anything at all today?" I wanted to clock him right there. Mr. Suckup had the balls to say that. He has the mistaken impression that just because I'm not doing as much physical labor as he is, that I must not be doing anything! Always has. He fails to grasp that there are 14 other machines I have to keep running while he's trying to make the boss look good. It drives me frakking nuts and I was in a pissy mood the rest of the day.

I guess it's partially my fault, because I have done nothing to change the status quo. So maybe I should just shut up, if I'm not gonna do anything about it, huh? I guess this was something I just needed to spout off about

Need..

You asked me to think about why I think I need you. Like I said, I'm not sure I can explain that in a way that you'll understand. Not that I think you're stupid, but it's more a matter of my inability to put it into words. I don't have a magic wand that let's me go, I need you because...! How about I start with a list of things I don't need you for.

I don't need you:
to cloth me.
to feed me or cook for me.
to pick up after me
to bathe me.
to do laundry for me.
to do housework
for financial matters
to wash my car
to mow my lawn

Obviously, I could go on with a list like that indefintely. But you see the point. All those are easy to explain to you. The other part is more difficult!

I do need you because:
you occupy all my waking thoughts and sleeping dreams
you occupy every nook and cranny of my heart and mind
your voice
your touch
the way I feel when I'm around you
the companionship and friendship
your guidance

See, I know already that I can't explain this to you. I guess the one thing I can say with certainty, is that I need you simply because I do.

Trust and Naiveity

Trust
Pronunciation: 'tr&st
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English, probably of Scandinavian origin; akin to Old Norse traust trust; akin to Old English trEowe faithful -- more at TRUE
1 a : assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something b : one in which confidence is placed
2 a : dependence on something future or contingent : HOPE b : reliance on future payment for property (as merchandise) delivered : CREDIT
3 a : a property interest held by one person for the benefit of another b : a combination of firms or corporations formed by a legal agreement; especially : one that reduces or threatens to reduce competition
4 archaic : TRUSTWORTHINESS
5 a (1) : a charge or duty imposed in faith or confidence or as a condition of some relationship (2) : something committed or entrusted to one to be used or cared for in the interest of another b : responsible charge or office c : CARE, CUSTODY
- in trust : in the care or possession of a trustee


Naive
Variant(s): or na·ïve /nä-'Ev, nI-/
Function: adjective
Inflected Form(s): na·iv·er; -est
Etymology: French naïve, feminine of naïf, from Old French, inborn, natural, from Latin nativus native
1 : marked by unaffected simplicity : ARTLESS, INGENUOUS
2 a : deficient in worldly wisdom or informed judgment; especially : CREDULOUS b : not previously subjected to experimentation or a particular experimental situation ; also : not having previously used a particular drug (as marijuana) c : not having been exposed previously to an antigen
3 a : SELF-TAUGHT, PRIMITIVE b : produced by or as if by a self-taught artist synonym see NATURAL - na·ive·ly or na·ïve·ly adverb - na·ive·ness noun

troubles, troubles.....

4:40AM 7/24/06
Well for some odd reason, my music player is not finding my mp3's that I've got stored on fileden. I tried going to the site, but I can't even get there to see what the problem is. Ain't technology wonderful. I don't know, maybe if I owned a Mac......

1:15PM 7/24/06
I think I fixed the problem. I had to open an account at another file hosting site and repaste the URLs into my player on loudfusion. Seems to be working for the moment. Still haven't a clue what the problem is with fileden.

7:30PM 7/25/06
Well, Fileden is up and running. Evidently they had a phisher register there Sunday and attempt to access personal information from the site. Their registrar, Godaddy, shut down the site until they got the problem fixed. Why do people have to do shit like that? Anyway for our inconvienence, they gave us registered users an extra 100 megs of storage space. Cool!!

An open letter...

This is an open letter to B.H.


You miserable, self-righteous, sanctimonious son-of-a bitch!! Are you so miserable with your own life that you have to drag other people down to your level? That you have to tell lies and make up shit to make yourself feel better? I was just curious! How dare you call Lori out of the blue and fill her head with your bullshit! What the fuck do you care what happens with her, or me for that matter? And to say it's because you're tired of people getting screwed over. Give me a fucking break!! Is it because you can't have something, so nobody can have anything either? Or is it just because you're a spoiled 10 year-old stuck in a 40 year old body? I believe it's just because you enjoy being hurtful and spiteful! I wonder what kind of bullshit you can come up with next. I heard all about your little stunt at Parkway. Let me just clue you in to something. You're fucking with the wrong person there. That's just a little advice, but I don't know why I should give a rat's ass. Comment, if you have the balls, which I doubt. It's not your style to be up front.

Me bitching...again part 2

Birth of a ...

I'm sitting thinking with all the stuff I've added here over the last few months, I hope I'm not getting away from the main purpose of doing this in the first place. All you need to do to figure out this question is to go back and read my first post from March. The creation and birth of this should become self-explanatory. Enjoy!!

Finally..a cycling post!

You know it occured to me, that with all the cycling links on my sidebar, and having listing mountain biking as one of the things I enjoy, I've never even written a post about my cycling. Hmmmm.

I try to ride between 5 and 10 miles everyday when it's warm. I got up this morning and did 5, and decided to call it because it was just starting to get get a might warm.(See yesterday's audio post) When I starting riding again in '98, 5 miles was a long way. Now I can do 5 miles in 20 minutes, 15 if I push it. I love the feeling of freedom and closeness with the outdoors that I feel when I on the bike. Plus the fact that at my age, it's something I can do without tearing the shit out of my knees.

I quit riding years ago because the crop of bikes then was uncomfortable, and frankly, I didn't have the ambition. Today's bikes are light-years beyond those bikes. I urge anyone with a hankering to start riding again to check them out. And always remember this, you get what you pay for. Sure you could get a bike for $100 at Wal-Mart, but believe me, the above adage applies. The things I've seen coming out of there. That's another post altogether. My former bike guy,Todd, has an excellent little editorial on his website. I also feel compelled to give Todd a free plug here. He's the one who sold me my current ride. He doesn't do the retail thing anymore, but check out his stuff on my sidebar,Tullio's Big Dog Cyclery, and Heron Bicycles. Ride safe and far!!!

Success!!!!!

I've FINALLY figured out this music thing. After about a shitzillion hours and some help from some fellow bloggers, it's a done deal. Anyone that wants to offer suggestions for my playlist, feel free to comment. I've included songs that have touched me and some that have spoken to me. Others I just like the song. Anyway, I just want to thank my fellow bloggers for their help in this, again. YES!!!!!!!!!

Me bitching....again!

Todays Quote

"According as circumstances are favorable,
one should modify one's plans."

Sun Tzu "The Art of War"

Thought for the day...

Part of a recent IM...

R: ok..I'll just type my thoughts and you can catch up
R: On one hand, it's not one person's right to tell another person who they can and can't be friends with...
R: but on the other hand, when two people love each other, they should be willing to 'forsake all others'
R: If an outside person's attention or the attention of one of the commited couple pays more interest than just friendship, that takes away from the couple.
R: and you are right, D's friendship is less important that L's love
R: I'm sad for D but if she is a true friend, she will understand
R: Best case scenerio would be for you and D to be friends and L comfortable with that....but not an easy place to get to

A friend?

It has come to my attention through the grapevine that the person I ceased outside communications with is probably upset with me for doing so. I had hoped that being my friend, she would understand my need in this matter. This is something I haven't addressed here yet. She needs to understand that I wanted to do this. That when it came down to it, there really wasn't a question of what was more important. I thought being the true friend she professed to be, she would understand. Maybe I was wrong. Feel free to comment.

False patriots

My friend Todd has a great post about "false patriots". I urge you to check this out. Some stimulating and thought provoking reading!

http://tullios.blogspot.com/

How many ways...

我愛你!
Ik houd van u!
Je t'aime !
Ich liebe Dich!
Σας αγαπώ!
Ti amo!
私は愛する!
나는 너를 사랑한다!
Eu te amo!
Я люблю вас!
¡Te quiero!

Ohhh boy!!!

This bad boy was on my front porch yesterday morning! I used to see a lot of these when I was a kid, but not so much anymore. I was always fascinated by these insects, and still am. Just a little nature shot for your perusement!

Thought for the day 2...

"Within you I lose myself
Without you I find myself
Wanting to be lost again."
Unknown

Thought for the day....

A Great Quote

"You must be the change you want to see in the world."
Mahatma Ghandi

What God Wants?

I've been thinking over the past few days, and since today's Sunday, and my thoughts have been of the Almighty, then it seems appropriate to post this today.
Throughout this whole Lori/Craig conflict, she has repeatly brought God into the picture. I don't have a problem with that. I could be more spiritual myself. In an E-mail last Sunday, Lori said that if in the future, God ordains for us to be together again, then it will be. I don't have a problem with that, either. I just find it ironic, that according to her, she just wanted to get right with the Lord, while I feel that God wants us to be together. It's funny how we all have our perceptions of what is right with God, or what He wants. Just an observation!

Strange Dream!

It's been a week since Lori and I began our communication blackout. I can't say it's been easy. Last Monday night, I had the weirdest dream I've had in a long time. Lori and I had gone to a mall to do some kind of shopping. We drifted to different stores as such, as we used to do, nothing weird there. In a storefront in the mall I walked in, and there were male relatives from my dad's side of the family, seated around a big rectangular conference table. The chair at the head of the table was empty, and they motioned me to sit down. They procceeded to berate me for my stupidity concerning Lori, and offered their advice. They were all talking at once, and I couldn't hear a word anyone was saying. I got up and left, and went to look for Lori.
I found in one of the stores, talking to of all people, my ex-mother-in-law, Mary, whom in real life, she's never met. As soon as I walked up, there was an awkward silence. Mary then looked at Lori and said "Remember, hon, what I told you"! With that we said our goodbyes, and continued shopping. Lori and I drifted to different places again. I went to find her, but couldn't. I tried calling her cell, but got no answer. By this time the mall was closing. I was frantic. I called the police and filed a report, and then headed home. When I got home, there was Lori, sitting in the chair like nothing happened. I asked what happened. She siad she didn't want to talk to me any more so found a ride home. I went from frantic to furious.I was in the middle of a tirade about her being selfish, or something like that, her calling me an asshole, when I work up. What woke me up was that I was so mad in the dream I was shaking, and I was shaking for real when I woke up, still very pissed.
I don't know what to read into this. I've thought of a few things I'd like to ask her and a few things I'd like to say when we're talking again. Weird, huh?