6/27/2006

New Yahoo groups!!

I've joined several new groups on Yahoo. They're for people looking for someone special, for people with relationship problems. Check them out. I've found them helpful, because I know now that I'm not the only one going through hard times. Here are the links:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Looking4thatspecialsomeone/
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/lostfoundandlooking/
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/whenlovehurts/

6/26/2006

Until It Sleeps

Until It Sleeps - Metallica

Where do I take this pain of mine
I run but it stays right by my side
So tear me open, pour me out
These things inside they scream and shout
And the pain still hates me
So hold me until it sleeps

Just like a curse, just like a stray
You feed it once and now it stays
Now it stays
So tear me open, but beware
There's things inside without a care
And the dirt still stains me
So wash me until I'm clean

It grips you so hold me

It stains you so hold me
It hates you so hold me
It holds you so hold me
Until it sleeps...

So tell me why you've chosen me
Don't want your grip
Don't want your greed
Don't want it
I'll Tear me open, make you gone
No more can you hurt anyone
And the fear still shakes me
So hold me until it sleeps
I don't want it.....

NO
It grips you so hold me
It stains you so hold me
It hates you so hold me
It holds you, holds you, holds you
Until it sleeps...

So tear me open, but beware
The pain's inside without a care
And the dirt still stains me
So wash me til I'm clean

I'll Tear me open, make you gone
No longer will you hurt anyone
And the hate still shakes me
So hold me until it sleeps


Until it sleeps
Until it sleeps
Until it sleeps

6/25/2006

Hiatus

After a week of breaking our so called "cease fire", Lori and I have agreed to a moratorium on communication for awhile. While I will find this difficult, I know this is for the best, because the way things were going, we were just going to end up hating each other. Things happen for a reason, and her and I need to figure out the reason this happened, if that's possible. Several things came to my mind today, and I'll write them down elsewhere until I get a chance to talk with her again. I don't know how long that will be, as I left that up to her. I believe that she realizes how I feel, but we both need the respite.

6/21/2006

I liked this!!



I found this on the net today,  I really like the sentiment and thought I would share.

And if someone gives you that run down of "getting to know her better" I know from experience, you can spend a lifetime with someone and still not really know them!  I think this is true because the person we are with makes us the person we are!  Follow your heart,  it "seldom" leads in a wrong direction!”

Evil Clouds


Beth and I were at Wal-Mart picking up a few things yesterday. As we were leaving we both noticed these demonic looking cloud formations. They were absolutely evil looking and gorgeous. As she put it, they looked like some sort of soul-sucking vortex. Kind of reminded me how I feel sometimes. Light and dark, good and evil. Anyway she snapped a couple shots and here they are. Just thought I'd share with y'all. Enjoy!!!

6/18/2006

Father's Day

I hate when I get like this. I can’t imagine feeling more useless, or more alone. I mean, I’ve been to my parent’s 3 days in a row. A project for the first 2, and then today being Father’s Day, to visit my dad. It felt good to do something for someone other than myself. But I still can’t shake the feeling that really, in the great scheme of things, what I’m doing doesn’t really matter.
I know I have my friends, and I have my family, and I know that they love and appreciate me. Like I said a few days ago, it feels occasionally like I’m just going through the motions. Maybe Beth coming up this week will shake me out of this funk. Who knows.
As for Lori, it seems I have turned into “persona non gratia”. I can’t believe that someone is SOO busy that they can’t take 5 minutes to return my calls. And contrary to what she keeps saying, I’m beginning to feel like all our time together was a falsehood. That I wasted years of my life on something that was doomed from the start, without a snowball’s chance in hell.

6/16/2006

Me

If I do not want what you want, please try not to tell me my want is wrong.
Or if I believe other than you, at least ask before you correct my view.
If my emotion is more or less than your's given the same circumstances, don't ask me to feel more weak or strong.
Yet if I act in someway other than your design for action, let me be me.
I do not ask you to understand me, that will come only when you are willing to give up changing me into a copy of you.
I may be your mate, spouse, employee, your child, partner or friend.  If you will allow me any of my own wants, emotions, beliefs or actions then you open yourself ,so that someday these ways of mine might not seem so wrong and might finally appear to you as right....for me.
To put up with me is the first step to understanding me, not that my ways are right for you, but that you are no longer irritated or disappointed with me.
And in understanding me, you might come to praise my differences from you. And far from seeking to change them. You might preserve and even nurture those differences.
I always knew I'd laugh, looking back on those times I cried. But I never thought I'd cry, looking back on times I laughed!

The NEW Bill of Rights

Sensible people of the United States speak out because if you don't, insensible people will.
"We the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to help everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid more riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior, and secure the blessings of debt free liberty to ourselves and our great-great-great-grandchildren, hereby try "one more time" to ordain and establish some common sense guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt ridden, delusional, and other liberal bed-wetters. We hold these truths to be self evident: that a whole lot of people are confused by the Bill of Rights and are so dim they require a Bill of NON-Rights." I: You do not have the right to a new car, big screen TV, or any other form of wealth. More power to you if you can legally acquire them, but no one is guaranteeing anything. 2.You do not have the right to never be offended. This country is based on freedom, and that means freedom for everyone -- not just you! You may leave the room, turn the channel, express a different opinion, etc.; but the world is full of idiots, and probably always will be. 3.You do not have the right to be free from harm. If you stick a screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful, do not expect the tool manufacturer to make you and all your relatives independently wealthy. 4.You do not have the right to free food and housing. Americans are the most charitable people to be found and will gladly help anyone in need, but we are quickly growing weary of subsidizing generation after generation of professional couch potatoes who achieve nothing more than the creation of another generation of professional couch potatoes. 5.You do not have the right to free health care. That would be nice, but from the looks of public housing, we're just not interested in public health care. 6.You do not have the right to physically harm other people. If you kidnap, rape, intentionally maim, or kill someone, don't be surprised if the rest of us want to see you fry in the electric chair. 7.You do not have the right to the possessions of others. If you rob, cheat, or coerce away the goods or services of other citizens, don't be surprised if the rest of us get together and lock you away in a place where you still won't have the right to a big screen color TV or a life of leisure. 8.You do not have the right to a job. All of us sure want you to have a job, and will gladly help you along in hard times, but we expect you to take advantage of the opportunities of education and vocational training laid before you to make yourself useful 9.You do not have the right to happiness. Being an American means that you have the right to PURSUE happiness which, by the way, is a lot easier if you are unencumbered by an over abundance of idiotic laws created by those of you who were confused by the Bill of Rights. 10.This is an English speaking country. We don't care where you are from, English is our language. Learn it or go back to wherever you came from!
and (lastly)
You do not have the right to change our country's history or heritage. This country was founded on the belief in one true God. And yet, you are given the freedom to believe in any religion, any faith, or no faith at all; with no fear of persecution. The phrase IN GOD WE TRUST is part of our heritage and history and if you are uncomfortable with it, TOUGH!!!!

6/12/2006

Pain

I was just sitting here after eating a late lunch, and thinking about a few things. I’m not sure any of it makes any sense, and I know I’ve been over this a hundred times in my head. I’ve putzed around here since March, occupying myself with little projects. Painting, gardening, cleaning, and recleaning. I’d like to think I’m doing OK, but when it comes right down to it, I’m just doing all those things so I don’t feel any pain.
I really haven’t put myself into anything. It’s like I’m an automaton, just going through the motions, and moving on impulse and instinct. Not feeling anything. Maybe that’s normal, but if I slow down, it’s going to hurt, and I’m sure I’m not going to deal with that well. Don't get me wrong. I'm not about to start sitting here and wallowing in self-pity. Those things are not in my nature. But sometimes it takes a monumental effort to push that away. But I will continue to do so. I'm not going to let this pain be my undoing!

6/05/2006

"That which we are, we are; One equal temper of heroic hearts, Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will, To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield."

6/04/2006

"Open your mind, and shut your mouth!"

anonymous quote

6/03/2006

Variations on Murphy's Law

Any good looking person you see that isn't alone will be accompanied by a person of the opposite sex who doesn't deserve to be with them.

Being told you’re the nicest guy they know is the kiss of death.

It's only kinky the first time you do it.

No matter how beautiful/wonderful s/he may seem to be, there's always someone out there that's sick and tired of his/her shit too.

Gravity cannot be held responsible for 2 people falling in love

Being told that someone doesn't want to date you because you're such a good friend, is like being told that you didn't get the job because you're overqualified

You'll think of a great line to say to someone the moment after your chance is gone.

When she says: "Don't buy me anything expensive" and you listen, expect to be single.

Regardless of how well one writes, it is difficult to write at all unless there is lead in the pencil.

Sex on the TV can't hurt you unless you fall off.

When all else fails, have hope

We don't know one millionth of one percent about anything.
a - z LYRICS

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