Father's Day

I hate when I get like this. I can’t imagine feeling more useless, or more alone. I mean, I’ve been to my parent’s 3 days in a row. A project for the first 2, and then today being Father’s Day, to visit my dad. It felt good to do something for someone other than myself. But I still can’t shake the feeling that really, in the great scheme of things, what I’m doing doesn’t really matter.
I know I have my friends, and I have my family, and I know that they love and appreciate me. Like I said a few days ago, it feels occasionally like I’m just going through the motions. Maybe Beth coming up this week will shake me out of this funk. Who knows.
As for Lori, it seems I have turned into “persona non gratia”. I can’t believe that someone is SOO busy that they can’t take 5 minutes to return my calls. And contrary to what she keeps saying, I’m beginning to feel like all our time together was a falsehood. That I wasted years of my life on something that was doomed from the start, without a snowball’s chance in hell.