Variations on Murphy's Law

Any good looking person you see that isn't alone will be accompanied by a person of the opposite sex who doesn't deserve to be with them.

Being told you’re the nicest guy they know is the kiss of death.

It's only kinky the first time you do it.

No matter how beautiful/wonderful s/he may seem to be, there's always someone out there that's sick and tired of his/her shit too.

Gravity cannot be held responsible for 2 people falling in love

Being told that someone doesn't want to date you because you're such a good friend, is like being told that you didn't get the job because you're overqualified

You'll think of a great line to say to someone the moment after your chance is gone.

When she says: "Don't buy me anything expensive" and you listen, expect to be single.

Regardless of how well one writes, it is difficult to write at all unless there is lead in the pencil.

Sex on the TV can't hurt you unless you fall off.

When all else fails, have hope

We don't know one millionth of one percent about anything.