A little of both.....

As you may have surmised from reading some of the posts, I have not been the perfect partner. Time for eating a little crow. I am not blameless for the current situation, nor was I blameless in the breakup of my marriage. I tend to have a "gunslinger" mentality when it comes to sex sometimes, another notch in the gun, so to speak. I've been told this is common among men, and to a degree some women. Not one of my shining virtues. So, not any saints here. Just another human being.
Lori called last night, and we talked for quite awhile. She asked why during all this, I'd not asked her to come back. Like I was disinterested about the whole thing. I replied I would love for her to come back, but I need to take steps to ensure I won't hurt her again. So I said I'm not disinterested, just repairing the dam, so to speak. I said when I'm ready, and when she's ready, we'd discuss it again. She also asked me to define love. ????? I don't think I'd ever had someone ask me that. And my answer, was to me unsatisfactory. A partner, a companion, sharing, being with. Something you feel between you(thanks, Sammy). I don't think I could put into words what I think love is. I'm hoping my answer didn't sound like so much jibberish to her and that she at least somewhat understands what I was trying to get across. She also stated that she was irritated with me for making her do this. I almost got pissed, but then realized that yes, she had done what she needed to do right now for HER peace of mind. Well I need to get ready for work, another day in the pits. More to follow...